Ada marketing issues

Ada marketing issues

[Stanley R Allen]

All of you people promoting "class" terminology as a marketing strategy are
just barking up the wrong tree.  You certainly don't work on Madison Avenue,
or you wouldn't be ignoring the most compelling marketing lesson of American
culture: sex sells!

If we *really* want Ada to make it, she's got to be presented with lots of
flash and a constant undercurrent of hormone-swirling suggestiveness, just
like a Sharon Stone or a Madonna.  And Ada is the perfect vehicle for this
this kind of approach, because after all, we have a *female* programming
language!  Why would anyone get hot about a language like Pascal (an old
geezer with sagging jowls) or Modula-3 (what a nerdy name for a language!)?
But Ada is quite a fox.  In fact, in the right clothes, she'll really turn
heads; get her out of that lacy upper-crust Victorian cage dress and show
show her on the beach in a bikini holding a Coors Light.  What red-blooded
American male programmer wouldn't want a roll in the bit bucket with this
babe?

Plus, Ada has sexy language features.  What Ada conference would be complete
without a bunch of bawdy (if corny) jokes about the rendesvous, package
"bodies", and, of course, private parts?  We shouldn't keep all the fun to
ourselves; why not turn it all into a rap song?  Kids would love it!  All 
those teen hackers would grow up using Ada instead of C!

As far as the sex angle is concerned, Ada is an ad man's dream.  And Ada9X
is just icing on the cake.  For example, the name of the language should
*never* become Ada94 or whatever.  Keep the 'X' in Ada9X!  'X' is hip, 'X' is
suggestive, 'X' is sexxxy; why do you think every rock&roll radio station in
the USA wants to get call letters like KZQX or WCFX?  (Notice that the 'X' is
ideally at the end of the sequence; a perfect match for 9X and great for all
kinds of slogans, e.g. "Flex your 9X".)

It sells cars.  It sells magazines.  It sells movies.  It even sells tax-free
municipal bonds.  And it can sell a computer langauge too.

Stanley Allen.
u6p72@lfhw1.hso.link.com