A programmer gets a part time job

A programmer gets a part time job

[Richard Pitre]

BRICKLAYER'S  ACCIDENT  REPORT

Gentlemen:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
block #3 of the accident reporting form.  I put "poor planning" as the
cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain
more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I completed my
work,I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over.  Rather
than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel
using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building at the
sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I went back to the
ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of
the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block #11 of the reporting form
that my weight is 155 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel which was now
proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of
speed.  This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the
broken collarbone, as listed in section 111 of the accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the  fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I
mentioned in paragraph #2 of this correspondence.

Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I
was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground- and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.

I again refer to my weight in block #11.  As you might imagine, I began
a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.  This
accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, the severe
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly.  The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks
in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above
me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the
rope.

                                                  Sincerely,
                                                  Policy #XYZ 23456

------- End of Forwarded Message








--- End of forwarded mail from "Allan Posner"
<allan_posner@spacemail.jhuapl.edu>


Someone sent me this and I felt that it was appropriate to post it here.

richard

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Emo Phillips

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Robert Dewar]

When writing a long quote like this (which may well be a copyright
violation in any case), you really should give the proper attribution!

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Robert Dewar]

ger
  I was really startled to see this story appearing in prose, because
  I heard it about 13 years ago on the radio (Dick Cerry's Music Americana
  show) in the form of an Irish-American folk song entitled "Why McNulty's
  Not at Work Today".  If you thought it was funny in prose, you should
  have heard it sung with an Irish lilt.  I suspect that the author of
  the song may have been of the sort who wear orange on March 17th, and
  that he may have written it in the same spirit as "Who Put the Overalls
  in Mrs. Murphy's Chowder".  Pass it back.
Tom"

No, no! it is MUCH older than that, and the author is a favorite of mine.
Do people really not know these comedy routines?

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Richard Pitre]

In article <dewar.827204776@schonberg> dewar@cs.nyu.edu (Robert Dewar) writes:
> 
> ger
>   I was really startled to see this story appearing in prose, because
>   I heard it about 13 years ago on the radio (Dick Cerry's Music Americana
>   show) in the form of an Irish-American folk song entitled "Why McNulty's
>   Not at Work Today".  If you thought it was funny in prose, you should
>   have heard it sung with an Irish lilt.  I suspect that the author of
>   the song may have been of the sort who wear orange on March 17th, and
>   that he may have written it in the same spirit as "Who Put the Overalls
>   in Mrs. Murphy's Chowder".  Pass it back.
> Tom"
> 
> No, no! it is MUCH older than that, and the author is a favorite of mine.
> Do people really not know these comedy routines?

Robert

Feel free to chastise or jail me for laziness or whatever.
I don't know where to begin to look. 
Who wrote it?

richard

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Dave McKenna]

dewar@cs.nyu.edu (Robert Dewar) wrote:


Hmmmm.  I've got a copy of this in the "Book of Losers" by Ben
Wicks....

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Walter B. Hollman Sr.]

On Mar 18, 1996 20:22:48 in article <A programmer gets a part time job>,
'pitre@n5160d.nrl.navy.mil (Richard Pitre)' wrote: 
 
 
> 
> 
>BRICKLAYER'S  ACCIDENT  REPORT 
> 
>Gentlemen: 
> 
>I am writing in response to your request for additional information in 
>block #3 of the accident reporting form.  I put "poor planning" as the 
>cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain 
>more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient. 
> 
>I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident, I was working 
>alone on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I completed my 
>work,I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over.  Rather

>than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel 
>using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building at the 
>sixth floor. 
> 
>Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the 
>barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I went back to the 
>ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of

>the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block #11 of the reporting form

>that my weight is 155 pounds. 
> 
>Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my 
>presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say, I 
>proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. 
> 
>In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel which was now 
>proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of 
>speed.  This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the 
>broken collarbone, as listed in section 111 of the accident reporting
form. 
> 
>Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until 
>the  fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which
I 
>mentioned in paragraph #2 of this correspondence. 
> 
>Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was 
>able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I 
>was now beginning to experience. 
> 
>At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the 
>ground- and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Now devoid of the weight 
>of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. 
> 
>I again refer to my weight in block #11.  As you might imagine, I began 
>a rapid descent down the side of the building. 
> 
>In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.  This 
>accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, the severe 
>lacerations of my legs and lower body. 
> 
>Here my luck began to change slightly.  The encounter with the barrel 
>seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile 
>of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. 
> 
>I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks 
>in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above 
>me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the 
>rope. 
> 
>Sincerely, 
>Policy #XYZ 23456 
> 
>------- End of Forwarded Message 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>--- End of forwarded mail from "Allan Posner" 
><allan_posner@spacemail.jhuapl.edu> 
> 
> 
>Someone sent me this and I felt that it was appropriate to post it here. 
> 
>richard 
> 
>Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. 
>-- Emo Phillips 
> 
-- 
How does this relate to ADA? 
Walter B. Hollman Sr 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Robert Dewar]

"How does this relate to ADA?
Walter B. Hollman Sr"

It does not relate at all

SO WHY QUOTE THE WHOLE ARTICLE IN YOUR REPLY JUST TO ADD THE ABOVE 
QUESTION???

Please learn how to use your newsreader to do selective quotes, therwise
a complaint like this is worse than the original post!

Re: A programmer gets a part time job

[Richard Pitre]

In article <dewar.827283208@schonberg> dewar@cs.nyu.edu (Robert Dewar) writes:
> "How does this relate to ADA?
> Walter B. Hollman Sr"
> 
> It does not relate at all
> 
> SO WHY QUOTE THE WHOLE ARTICLE IN YOUR REPLY JUST TO ADD THE ABOVE 
> QUESTION???
> 
> Please learn how to use your newsreader to do selective quotes, therwise
> a complaint like this is worse than the original post!

IYHO

richard

Re: A programmer gets a part time job (Ada programmers have the time)

[Steve O'Shaughnessy]

In article <4ip8bq$qjp@ra.nrl.navy.mil>, 
pitre@n5160d.nrl.navy.mil says...
>
>In article <dewar.827283208@schonberg> dewar@cs.nyu.edu (Robert 
Dewar) writes:
>> "How does this relate to ADA?
>> Walter B. Hollman Sr"
>> 
>> It does not relate at all
>> 
>> SO WHY QUOTE THE WHOLE ARTICLE IN YOUR REPLY JUST TO ADD THE 
ABOVE 
>> QUESTION???
>> 
>> Please learn how to use your newsreader to do selective 
quotes, therwise
>> a complaint like this is worse than the original post!
>
>IYHO
>
>richard

Further proof that Ada is a superior language providing 
programmers and engineers with more time on their hands.  You 
guys have time to bitch about the pickiest things.