* [Fwd: IF LINUX WERE A CAR -- Details here ...]
@ 1999-05-19 0:00 byhoe
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From: byhoe @ 1999-05-19 0:00 UTC (permalink / raw)
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|BY, Hoe | byhoe.lexical@technologist.com |
|Director of R&D | http://www.angelfire.com/biz/Lexical |
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Procrastination prevents creativity
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From: "eferen1" <edward123j@email.msn.com>
References: <373b6448.6415042@news.cybrtyme.com>
Subject: Re: IF LINUX WERE A CAR -- Details here ...
Date: Fri, 14 May 1999 20:16:18 -0000
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To: <alt.os.linux@list.deja.com>
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VERY FUNNY!
And very well written, too. I got a good laugh out if this. I'll frame it,
and post one in my Linuxmobile (just soon as I can man-page that tells how
to install the hardware)!!
Ed.
Some say Bill Gates is a drug dealer. Could be, because he got us hooked in
Windows, and now we have to buy the fixes from him.
Mad Nomad <madnomad@cybrtyme> wrote in message
news:373b6448.6415042@news.cybrtyme.com...
> (1) Your complete Linuxmobile comes with a chassis, an engine, a
> drivetrain, and a very loud horn -- everything the independent
> motorist needs.
>
> (2) If you want to use more than one gear, you will have to recompile
> the engine. If that fails, simply tear it down and rebuild it
> yourself.
>
> (3) You would speed past all those lazy Winmobile drivers and jeer at
> their sissy windshields and doors.
>
> (4) Fuel is free -- simply use your own tanker and refinery.
>
> (5) Unlike the Winmobile, your new Linuxmobile doesn't require a
> bloated electric starter. It comes with a nifty hand crank, but to
> find out where to stick it you must read a 90-page FAQ entitled
> "Getting the Shaft."
>
> (6) You can have any color you want, as long as it's black with white
> trim.
>
> (7) A steering wheel is a downloadable add-on module. To get the web
> site address, you must email dork@planetneptune.com. He may take
> several weeks to answer, because his time is much too valuable to keep
> helping all you clueless newbies.
>
> (8) With the latest steering wheel module, you will only be able to
> make right turns. An amateurishly written HOWTO informs you that left
> turns are easy: simply make three rights. Anyway, if it wasn't for
> the Microcar Corporation, all the roads would be straight.
>
> (9) Your retractable cupholder continually generates segmentation
> faults.
>
> (10) The Linuxmobile warranty runs for 50,000 miles or 500,000
> expletives, whichever comes first. It expires before you get out of
> your driveway.
>
> (11) Qualified mechanics are everywhere, but each has only one tool.
> An oil change is free but takes eight people and three days' work.
>
> (12) The owner's manual MAN page for "Lights" gives you 38 different
> parameters, none of which is "on" or "off."
>
> (13) If you want your Linuxmobile to actually roll, you will need
> wheels.round.tar.gz. This would only compile with engine
> 5.99.24.z.4.x86. Anything higher or lower than that won't work.
>
> (14) Tires are still in alpha testing, but you wouldn't want them
> anyway because they eliminate all those cool sparks.
>
> (15) You are not required to assume that awkward sitting posture while
> driving. If you must have a seat, then you aren't really a
> Linuxmobile type of guy.
>
>
> Mad Nomad
> madnomad@cybrtyme.com
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1999-05-19 0:00 [Fwd: IF LINUX WERE A CAR -- Details here ...] byhoe
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