From mboxrd@z Thu Jan 1 00:00:00 1970 X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 3.4.4 (2020-01-24) on polar.synack.me X-Spam-Level: X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.9 required=5.0 tests=BAYES_00 autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no version=3.4.4 X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: 103376,6d8e5c00c6db11db,start X-Google-Attributes: gid103376,public From: byhoe Subject: [Fwd: IF LINUX WERE A CAR -- Details here ...] Date: 1999/05/19 Message-ID: <37422881.F792C8CB@my-dejanews.com> X-Deja-AN: 479234078 To: "comp.lang.ada@list.deja.com" Organization: Posted from within Lexical Integration (M) Sdn Bhd Mime-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: comp.lang.ada Date: 1999-05-19T00:00:00+00:00 List-Id: This is a multi-part message in MIME format. --------------650F3FA0BC10EB72CBBCE831 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit -- +-----------------+---------------------------------------+ |BY, Hoe | byhoe.lexical@technologist.com | |Director of R&D | http://www.angelfire.com/biz/Lexical | +-----------------+---------------------------------------+ Procrastination prevents creativity --------------650F3FA0BC10EB72CBBCE831 Content-Type: message/rfc822 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline Received: from smv18.iname.net ([206.253.130.42]) by mta3.tm.net.my (InterMail v03.02.05 118 121 101) with SMTP id <19990518212654.BAUW24731@smv18.iname.net> for ; Wed, 19 May 1999 05:26:54 +0800 Return-Path: Received: from ivpm3.dejanews.com (vpm3.deja.com [208.10.192.61]) by smv18.iname.net (8.9.1a/8.9.1SMV2) with SMTP id RAA17644 for sent by ; Tue, 18 May 1999 17:26:46 -0400 (EDT) From: "eferen1" References: <373b6448.6415042@news.cybrtyme.com> Subject: Re: IF LINUX WERE A CAR -- Details here ... Date: Fri, 14 May 1999 20:16:18 -0000 X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2014.211 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2014.211 Message-ID: <1086915544.927061943040.JavaMail.root@hqtest19.dejanews.com> Path: nntp1.dejanews.com!nnrp2.dejanews.com!nntp2.dejanews.com!logbridge.uoregon.edu!newsfeed.cwix.com!207.46.180.32!cpmsnbbsa04!cpmsnbbsa03 Content-Type: text/plain Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Mime-Version: 1.0 To: Reply-To: VERY FUNNY! And very well written, too. I got a good laugh out if this. I'll frame it, and post one in my Linuxmobile (just soon as I can man-page that tells how to install the hardware)!! Ed. Some say Bill Gates is a drug dealer. Could be, because he got us hooked in Windows, and now we have to buy the fixes from him. Mad Nomad wrote in message news:373b6448.6415042@news.cybrtyme.com... > (1) Your complete Linuxmobile comes with a chassis, an engine, a > drivetrain, and a very loud horn -- everything the independent > motorist needs. > > (2) If you want to use more than one gear, you will have to recompile > the engine. If that fails, simply tear it down and rebuild it > yourself. > > (3) You would speed past all those lazy Winmobile drivers and jeer at > their sissy windshields and doors. > > (4) Fuel is free -- simply use your own tanker and refinery. > > (5) Unlike the Winmobile, your new Linuxmobile doesn't require a > bloated electric starter. It comes with a nifty hand crank, but to > find out where to stick it you must read a 90-page FAQ entitled > "Getting the Shaft." > > (6) You can have any color you want, as long as it's black with white > trim. > > (7) A steering wheel is a downloadable add-on module. To get the web > site address, you must email dork@planetneptune.com. He may take > several weeks to answer, because his time is much too valuable to keep > helping all you clueless newbies. > > (8) With the latest steering wheel module, you will only be able to > make right turns. An amateurishly written HOWTO informs you that left > turns are easy: simply make three rights. Anyway, if it wasn't for > the Microcar Corporation, all the roads would be straight. > > (9) Your retractable cupholder continually generates segmentation > faults. > > (10) The Linuxmobile warranty runs for 50,000 miles or 500,000 > expletives, whichever comes first. It expires before you get out of > your driveway. > > (11) Qualified mechanics are everywhere, but each has only one tool. > An oil change is free but takes eight people and three days' work. > > (12) The owner's manual MAN page for "Lights" gives you 38 different > parameters, none of which is "on" or "off." > > (13) If you want your Linuxmobile to actually roll, you will need > wheels.round.tar.gz. This would only compile with engine > 5.99.24.z.4.x86. Anything higher or lower than that won't work. > > (14) Tires are still in alpha testing, but you wouldn't want them > anyway because they eliminate all those cool sparks. > > (15) You are not required to assume that awkward sitting posture while > driving. If you must have a seat, then you aren't really a > Linuxmobile type of guy. > > > Mad Nomad > madnomad@cybrtyme.com oO---------------------------------------------------------Oo SPONSOR Terrific offers and free delivery at OfficeMax.com Over 20,000 products and a low price guarantee http://www.officemax.com/FreeDelivery/catalog.html _____________________________________________________________ Deja.com: Share what you know. Learn what you don't. http://www.deja.com/ * To modify or remove your subscription, go to http://www.deja.com/edit_sub.xp?group=alt.os.linux * Read this thread at http://www.deja.com/thread/%3C1085775664.927061939325.JavaMail.root%40hqtest19.dejanews.com%3E oO---------------------------------------------------------Oo --------------650F3FA0BC10EB72CBBCE831--